Sorrow Drowned in Champagne - Day 4

Hi everyone - well 320 miles under the belt !!

Today we completed the 61 mile trip between Laon and Matougues, (approximately 15 mile to the East of Epernay) in the heart of Champagne country. Our journey time was approximately 5hrs 15 mins in the saddle and we climbed over 3200 vertical feet and burnt well over 3000 calories each.

A few niggles were reported at our pre departure briefing: Keiron had a painful Achilles tendon, Tony an excruciatingly troublesome hamstring tendon (necessitating  him to remain out for the day), Matt, George & Keiron (our highly trained/elite athletes......) complained variously of headaches (a lack of fluids was suggested although this was later put down not to lack but the wrong sort of fluid being too much rough Bordeaux wine for dinner the previous evening) - encouraged by Keiron. Others were a little stiff but soon loosened up.

The trip out of town was fairly uneventful, a nice orderly group respectfully snaking past the locals who had returned from their Labour Day bank holiday. We shot out into beautiful open countryside, climbing up onto open farmland, picture postcard French villages and forests. Matt was having trouble with his foot co-ordination/clip releases (wine again) and following a request from Nigel for a quick photo opportunity (apparently something Matt has never been shy of) he managed to topple over ending up with the bike on top of him. 

And all George did was laugh.......

Matt earns the name Hollywood Barrelle for a very stylish roll and recovery. 

After a couple of hours, the first spots of Champagne rain hit us - and then my god the heavens opened!! This coincided with us joining the main Laon to Reims highway used by seemingly all of the biggest and dirtiest French lorries. The spray and wind buffeting from just about all of them was terrible as these monsters shot by. After 10 miles we stopped at a lorry café for some hot refreshments (tea/coffee but sadly no vin chaud for Matt). We had hoped to meet a few of the charming French lorry drivers to offer them a drink or two but none were to be found. Joking apart the French motorists really do respect cyclists and generally give a wide birth, even on double white lines with oncoming cars. Ally sadly did not have that luxury later in the afternoon when the turbulence from a too close for comfort 18 wheeler sent her off into the grass. Nice soft landing.

The rain continued incessantly and the wind was pretty much in our faces for the next few hours. The temperature was very low and with the combined rain, spray, turbulence and wind we later found out that the adjusted wind chill factor brought the temp down to 2 degrees centigrade - one of the coldest May days on record in the Champagne region !!! Oh whooppidy doo !!!  This would account for the fact that when we dived for shelter in the gabled entrance to a Champagne chateau we were all feeling it. Shivering (except for Lisa who said she was fine, so earns the name today The Terminatress).

We pressed for another 20 minutes discussing a delicious warm lunch in front of a roaring log fire in the next village. Sadly, no shops, bars, restaurants just three or four champagne houses closed for winter. So hey presto, Shaun arrived with the big white bus and before we knew it his pagola is erected in the market square and we looked like a very professional cycling team. It was however freezing and we were soaked through to the core. All of us. 

A few local curtain twitchers wondered what had arrived as Antonio stripped off (to his waist) to change into dry clothes and the other bedraggled cyclists wandered around looking for warmth, which initially was inside the van but then moved towards the tent when the smells of George’s creation wafted around the village. Members were invited to join the chefs table for the two course lunch. Nigel starts with a Mars Bar, Lisa with bread and cheese and George/Antonio and Matt with a banana.  This is followed with perfectly cooked penne pasta coated in delicious canned Irish stew and canned meatballs with a light sprinkling of the finest canned sweetcorn, eat your heart out Gordon. Surprisingly good tucker the old `Aussie commented. 

Rain stopped after lunch as we set off for our last 25 hilly miles. In a surprisingly out of character move Nigel shot off ahead of the pack to get pole position for his warm bath at the hotel whilst his charming room mate Antonio (recently named as The Portuguese Machine) apparently  took in some unexpected and unplanned sightseeing with Renata as they missed one of the Orange Turning Markers.

Our Bespoke Tour guide Shaun the Shepherd then went off to find his missing flock. 

Despite problems with her bike gears Ally did magnificently today finishing the arduous ride and has been asked to join the Yellow Jersey Team as an Honorary Member by Chairman Hollywood Barrelle, who pointed out the jersey colour is the same as a duster !! 

We are all now safely in the hotel drying clothes and trying to sort out kit for tomorrows adventure. One bit of advice for anyone carrying Jellybeans in their waterproofs…watch out they may hatch…. and resemble maggots !!

Well we must close as it is time to try some local fizz….

More news and adventures from our intrepid cyclists tomorrow…….

George Rolls, News at 10, Champagne…

Comment from Nigel: would you cycle with this madman !!!!!